Stage One: #PUREHell - 11/26/15 – Center Stage – Atlanta, GA
The Thanksgiving tradition of Pro Wrestling in Atlanta makes it’s long awaited return! The kick-off of the HoliCraze Hell TOURnament – Stage One: PURE Hell will see participants battle under PURE Rules.
1. Each wrestler is limited to 3 rope breaks to stop submissions and pinfalls. After a wrestler exhausts his rope breaks, submission & pin attempts in/under the ropes by opponent are considered legal.
Who has what it takes to advance to Stage Two: Helluva F’nXmas?
Main Event: Stage One Match
Stage One Match
Stage One Match
Stage One Match
Stage One: #PUREHell - 11/26/15 – Center Stage – Atlanta, GA
Hugo Strange is seen standing in front of the merch table wearing an ill fitted yellow sports coat and a yellow bow time; he seems to be talking to somebody off camera.
Hugo Strange: “So yeah Treats comes to me and ask if I want to work his HoliCraze TOURnament. I am like, yeah. So, that is when he says I won't be wrestling. I start thinking cool Treats and I on commentary. That is when Dylan Daniels steps in and says "Son, you just aren’t ready to wear that head set" and hands me this jacket and the mic and they both say "Man on the Street." Yeah I know right kind of a…”
Hugo stops and turns towards the camera and smiles.
Hugo Strange: “The camera is on; it was on this whole time..”
A slightly embarrassed Hugo Strange composes himself.
Hugo Strange: “Hi, Hugo Strange here coming at you live from Center Stage, here in the heart of Atlanta, Georgia the birth place of professional RASSLIN!!! Throughout the night I will be bringing you crowd interviews and reactions!”
Hugo brings his mic to his side and looks off camera.
Hugo Strange: “You know a good director would of let the talent know the camera was on Douglas. He also wouldn't let the talent make an ass of himself. Because it is bad enough that Treats and Daniels… The camera is still on isn't it Douglas?
Hugo slaps his forehead and walks off camera.
Hugo Strange is standing in a sea rabid fans some have their faces painted like Mr. Rottentreats. A bunch are wearing WARPED shirts and other assorted wrestling shirts.
Hugo Strange: “Man, Treats and Daniels these fan are amped and ready for some RASSLIN action! This place is pack to the rafters and busting at the seams and packed to the gills!”
Hugo turns to the fans.
Hugo Strange: “You guys ready for some action?!”
Hugo Strange: “Ok just repeat after me! "Start the show!"
The crowd starts chanting "START THE SHOW!" "START THE SHOW!" "START THE SHOW!" with Hugo leading the chant after a few minutes of the chanting Hugo changes the chant to "Daniels is a tool!" And slowly the crowd changes what it is chanting to "Daniels is a tool" and the whole venue is loudly chanting "Daniels is a tool!" Hugo turns towards the camera and smiles; pointing at the camera.
Hugo Strange: “Back to you Treats and Daniels.”
Dylan Daniels: “Who gave that guy a microphone?!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Truth seekers, unk. Truth seekers! And I agree!”
Dylan Daniels: “I’m not a tool!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “That too, but let’s start the show!”
The FBI Anti-Piracy WARNING fades away; that’s right we’re LIVE on Pay-Per-View! “Pogo” by Digitalism plays as the WARPED Wrestling logo floats down from the top to the center of the screen. Soon thereafter a fist smashes through the WARPED logo; opening up to reveal the Ronie’s Rasslin’ Services Logo in the palm.
The camera pans Center Stage; showing off the sold out and raucous Atlanta, Georgia crowd. The houselights die down; as a large screen above the designated entranceway lights up. Appearing on WARPEDVision is none other than the owner & founder of Ronie’s Rasslin’ Services, Vaughn Ronie Jr. The youngest Ronie brother is anxiously pacing back and forth in front of a large RRS vinyl banner; his thumbs tucked in the armholes of his signature pinstripe vest. Vaughn’s demeanor quickly changes as he looks beyond the camera.
Vaughn Ronie Jr.: “Gaawd.. foorbiid.. That an entrepreneur such as I; a young man that has been in and around this business since conception. God forbid I approach talented grapplers with an offer that allows them to earn far more than a stale hot dog, flat soda, and a feeble handshake for one night’s work. God forbid, I give rasslers, old and new, far and wide the opportunity to man up about their ridiculous sucks I never got to wrestle in a WARPED ring tweets.”
Vaughn Ronie Jr. continues; puffing his chest out.
Vaughn Ronie Jr.: “Well, that’s exactly what I did! That’s exactly what I’ll do for many years to come. And this year I decided to make a couple of tweaks to the HoliCraze Hell TOURnament. Not only did I add an extra one hundred thousand to the prize money. I decided to make it an invitational as well. As for those inane should’ve, could’ve, would’ve tweets about wrestling in a WARPED ring. Ninety-eight percent of them refused to accept the invite. It’s for the better, though. I highly doubt they could handle the competitive nature of such an innovative tournament.”
The Ronie’s Rasslin’ Services founder scoffs; before continuing.
Vaughn Ronie Jr.: “In case you’re new to Ronie’s Rasslin’ Services and the HoliCraze Hell TOURnament allow me to explain it to you.”
A breathy chuckle escapes his lips before continuing.
Vaughn Ronie Jr.: “This business seems to be cyclical. One moment the craze are battle royals with an ungodly amount of participants. One moment it’s tournaments. One moment it’s death matches. And it all comes back around. These things usually happen in seasons as well. Being the genius promoter that I am, I figured why not combine a few of these elements. Seeing as I can’t stand battle royals; simply too much risk for injury involved. I took my three favorite things. Deathmatches, tournaments, the holiday season and sprinkled in some pure wrestling. Ya know to make these death match kooks earn their way to the bloodbath that’s bound to happen. So, what do I do with these ingredients? I stir ‘em up, pour ‘em in a pan and put ‘em into an oven; then start serving them by the hearty helping on Thanksgiving night and call it the HoliCraze Hell Tournament!
Vaughn pauses to stroke his chin a moment.
Vaughn Ronie Jr.: “And that ladies and gentlemen is why tonight all matches shall be contested under PURE rules. You wanna batter your opponent? You’ve got to earn that right around here! So, without further ado, let’s send it to the hosts with the most, from coast to coast, your favorite commentary duo and mine. Dylan Daniels and Mr. Rottentreats!! Take it away fellas!”
The image on WARPEDVision transitions to ringside. Standing by with live house microphones in hand are Dylan Daniels and Mr. Rottentreats. Both looking rather dapper with their signature sports coats; Dylan’s a canary yellow and Mr. Rottentreats a plaid lime green.
Dylan Daniels: “Welcome to Stage One of the second annual HoliCraze Hell Tournament ladies and gentlemen!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “That’s right muthafackos, we’re back with a second helping fo’ dat ass!”
Dylan Daniels: “Last year’s HoliCraze Hell saw Johnny Raike battle his way to becoming the inaugural HoliCraze Hell champion! Will he be able to do it again?”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Vaughn seems to thinks so! There may not be a Jackson, or a Lex Collins standing in his way this year, but Patrick Kay is back, jack!”
Dylan Daniels: “Speaking of last year’s underdog, Johnny Raike. We’ve got several new comers to the mix, Treats!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Damn skrait, Dyldo! For the first time ever in a WARPED Ring we’ll see second generation grappler Pat Gordon Jr., The Legend himself, Madman Szalinski, and my favorite female wrestler, Annie Fuckin’ Zellor!”
Dylan Daniels: “Also in action tonight, no stranger to WARPED action, your favorite wolf, the Strong Style Wolf himself, Jason Richards!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “He’s not the only bitch here tonight! Peach puppy is in the haaaugh as well!”
Dylan Daniels: “But up, first we’ve got a bit of a grudge match between someone I’ve travelled many miles with.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “We get it, you’ve got a man crush on Patrick Kay! Get over it, unk! He’s only got eyes for one man, and that’s Johnny Raike. At least that’s the speculation!”
Dylan Daniels: “And he’ll be facing off against AbominationZ founder and the reason you’re out of a job right now.. Crowbar.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “…take it away, Art!”
"R.I.P. 2 My Youth" by The Neighbourhood hits the PA. The arena goes dark and the spotlight shines on the entrance stage.
Art Burns: “The following match is your opening contest! Making his way to the ring first, hailing from Wichita, Kansas!”
The opening dramatic intro of the song plays as fans watch the entrance. The drums kick in, and the "R.I.P. 2 My Youth" lyrics kicks in, and from behind the curtain into the spotlight comes Patrick Kay.
Art Burns: “Standing at five foot, nine inches; he weighed in this morning at One-Hundred Ninety-Eight pounds!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Even with all that liquor he guzzles, he still managed to lose a whole five pounds since last Thanksgiving!”
The ultraviolent emo holds his arms out in a crucifix as he poses on the stage in his black jeans, white t-shirt and black leather jacket. He brings his arms up in the air, fists touching, before dropping them to his side and continuing down the ramp.
Art Burns: “Representing Evolution Wrestling! PAAAATRIIIIICK…. KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Fancy schmancy! Let’s hope his wrestling is on par with his entrance tonight. His win-loss record is more wrecked a streetwalker’s neden piece these days!”
Dylan Daniels: “I remember a time when yours was too, Treats!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Me too, Dyldo. I call it my rookie year! What’s Pat’s excuse?!”
He looks confident, driven, and happy as he walks down the ramp. Kay reaches the steps and walks up, then heads up onto the turnbuckle, and holds both arms out in a crucifix. He surveys the crowd with a look of excitement on his face, before hopping into the ring from the turnbuckle. He takes off his leather jacket and shirt, and hands it over to the referee who takes it to ringside, and he then leans up against the corner, ready to go, as the song fades.
Dylan Daniels: “Looks to me like he’s gained a new bit of confidence tonight, Treats.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “That’s not confidence, Dyldo! That’s the face of a man attempting to calculate how much liquor he can purchase with that fat Ronie’s Rasslin’ Services payday!”
"Abominationz" by Twiztid hits to hearty jeering from the crowd, instantly recognizing the music.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Aww shiiit! There’s the homey!”
Lights around flicker red as Crowbar steps out on to the stage with a giant grin on his face, decked out in his trademark Jeans, steel capped boots, and an AbominationZ "A" shirt.
Dylan Daniels: “Excuse me?! Since when are you two buddies?”
Mr. Rottentreats: “I didn’t say buddies, I said homey!”
Crowbar saunters to the ring, stopping occasionally to smirk at the crowd who obviously hate him and bowing in thanks before finally reaching the end and sliding in the ring.
Dylan Daniels: “That still doesn’t answer my question. How could you befriend this Cretan?! He’s responsible for..."
Mr. Rottentreats: “That was almost three years ago. Get over it already! Besides, that was Laurel’s fault!”
Crowbar circles the ring and grabs a mic off the ring announcer and leans against the ropes, still with a shit eating grin on his face.
Crowbar: "Ladies and Gentlemen, weighing in at 246 pounds, yes, I lost weight! From Long beach......fuckin' ME!"
The crowd and show their annoyance and disdain very vocally; Patrick Kay is now simmering in the corner at the Aussie’s show of disrespect. Crowbar turns his attention to Patrick Kay.
Crowbar: "What? You didn't think I'd turn up? Think I'd be banned again this year? Puh-lease. I was on the card, it's fairly obvious I'm not going to miss this! Even though, well, the last event I was at I was kind of a fat bastard....not Yokozuna fat, but fat. Out of shape.
Crowd: “SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
Crowbar: Now? Hah! I'm a fuckin' specimen of perfection, more aggressive, more violent, yet, calmer. Maybe I won't completely destroy anyone tonight, maybe I'll just....
His arrogance is cut short as the bell rings and Patrick Kay darts out of the corner with a Lou Thesz press! Kay cocks his fist back and throws it downward at Crowbar; turning the usual punches that would follow into a series of vicious slaps!
Mr. Rottentreats: “Louise Thesz Press! He is bitch slapping the taste out of Crowbar’s mouth!”
Dylan Daniels: “I thought we were about to see a disqualification right after the bell!”
Kay begins to rain down a series of vicious elbows into the face of Crowbar.
Mr. Rottentreats: “And we may see a ref stoppage if Pat manages to cut Crowbar open with those elbows! Come on, ref! Do your job!”
Dylan Daniels: “Elbows are legal! Quit yer belly achin’!”
Crowbar manages to roll Kay onto his back. Crowbar smirks; lifting the smaller Kay off the mat. Kay tries to cinch in a body scissors and front face lock; Crowbar over powers Kay and drives him into the nearest turnbuckle to break the hold. Kay crumples to the mat holding his lower back and mid-section. Crowbar attempts to shake off the elbow strikes as he backs into the corner.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Damn, Pat really rocked him with those tiny elbows of his!”
Dylan Daniels: “Would you show the man some respect? It’s his fourteenth anniversary in this beloved sport of ours!”
Crowbar turns his attention to the crowd; as they rally behind Kay in the early goings. Contemplating interaction with the fans for a moment; Crowbar allows Kay to regain his composure. Crowbar charges into the corner telegraphing a turnbuckle spear. Kay manages to pull himself up to a seated position on the top rope; Crowbar shoulders himself on the ring post! Clutching his shoulder; Crowbar stumbles out of the corner and charges in again. Kay leaps off the top and catches Crowbar with a flipping neck breaker!
Dylan Daniels: “BLOCK BUSTAAAH!!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “That brings back memories of watching him on WoW!”
Kay quickly makes the pin attempt!
Dylan Daniels: “Kay almost eliminated Crowbar!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “My homey’s still got some fight in him, though! Get the hell up Crowbeezy!!”
Kay already seems fed up with the referee’s cadence; clapping his hands together and counting to three. Crowbar slowly rises up to a knee while Kay argues with the referee. Kay notices out of the corner of his eye and quickly applies a side headlock. Crowbar attempts to shove Kay into the ropes; Kay hangs on Crowbar and drags him to the mat. Crowbar rolls Kay over onto his shoulders and bridges up.
Kay instinctively reaches the bottom rope; using his first rope break.
Dylan Daniels: “Patrick Kay has two rope breaks left, Treats.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “I’m not going to give him any shit on that one. It’s instinct. But, he needs to be more careful.”
Kay pulls himself to his feet with help from the ropes. Crowbar mocks Kay by aggressively tugging on the bottom rope and holding up two fingers; laughing. Kay hauls off with a series of kicks to the chest of Crowbar; each one turning Crowbar’s chest a brighter shade of red! Kay rebounds off the opposite ropes. Crowbar pulls down the middle rope on Kay’s return; sending Kay to the ringside mat with a thud!
Dylan Daniels: “Patrick Kay crashed hard on the outside!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “I know that hurt, those ringside mats aren’t exactly the softest landing zone!”
Crowbar admires his handy work; casually leaning in the corner.
Dylan Daniels: “What the hell is Johnny Raike coming out here for?!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “He’s obviously worried about his side piece!”
Johnny Raike attempts fans Patrick Kay with a HoliCraze Hell t-shirt. Crowbar throws his hands in the air beginning to argue with the referee. Kay starts coming to as Crowbar continues to argue with the referee; stalling the count.
Dylan Daniels: “In an effort to remain unbiased as possible, this isn’t right. You’re supposed to win this tournament on your own!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Stop playin’ yaself! Ya know you were about to jump out of your seat and toss Pat back into the ring!
Raike helps Kay to his feet and checks his pupils. Crowbar shoves the referee to the side and reaches outside through the middle and top rope. Crowbar spins Kay around only to be caught with a leaping European uppercut!
Dylan Daniels: “Patrick Kay just managed to drape Crowbar over the middle rope with that European Uppercut!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Pfft… Lucky shot!”
Kay slides into the ring and pulls himself up with help from the ropes once more. Slowly shaking off the cobwebs; he rebounds off the ropes. Crowbar manages to push up to his feet; as Kay returns. Kay manages to grab the top and middle ropes to perform a Tiger Feint; a confused Crowbar surveys the ring for Kay. Crowbar turns into a head scissors from Kay and drops to a knee as Kay locks in the Octopus Stretch!
Dylan Daniels: “Octopus stretch!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “ROPE BREAK!! OOOOoooo!! Too close to the ropes, Pat! Wait, why is he smirking?!”
Dylan Daniels: “Patrick Kay is a veteran, Treats! He set your home boy up!”
Crowbar writhes on the mat; Kay holds up two fingers mocking Crowbar. Kay backs into the opposite corner; as he blows a kiss to Johnny Raike at ringside. Raike shoots a seductive look at Kay; and blows a kiss of his own.
Dylan Daniels: “Focus on the match, Patrick!”
Mr. Rottentreats(sing song voice): “Some-body’s jea-lous!”
Crowbar pulls himself up in the corner with his back to Kay. Kay cartwheels out of the corner, transitions into a handspring and lands behind Crowbar; then aggressively rakes his back! The referee admonishes Kay.
Dylan Daniels: “Ouch!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Back-Rake of DOOOM-AAAAH!!!!”
Crowbar writhes; turning into a running boot attempt from Kay. Crowbar sidesteps; Kay crotches himself in the corner. Crowbar yells “Who’s the smart one now?!”; approaching the opposite corner. Crowbar charges out of the opposite corner and connects with a spear in the corner as Kay untangles himself from the ropes. Crowbar locks on a cravat for the KFO; he shakes his head no. Crowbar quickly applies a front face lock and yells “P-KRUSHER!!!!”
Dylan Daniels: “Tell me he isn’t about to steal Patrick Kay’s trademark maneuver?!”
Crowbar attempts to jerk Kay out of the corner; Kay grabs onto the top rope.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Not if that rope break can help it!”
The referee attempts to break the hold; Crowbar refuses! Crowbar tugs at Kay attempting to get him out of the corner. After making several attempts, Kay releases the rope and uses the momentum to reverse the front face lock and pulls Crowbar into a jumping cutter!
Dylan Daniels: “K-F-O!!!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “THIEF!!!”
Kay quickly shoots the half nelson and turns Crowbar over for the pin attempt. Hooking both legs; Kay yells “FOURTEEN FUCKIN’ YEARS, MOTHERFUCKER!!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Dog damnit!!!”
Dylan Daniels: “Instant Karma, isn’t that what you’re all about, Treats? Karma!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Shut the-ROPEBREAK!!
The referee stops the count and points out the Crowbar’s foot on the bottom rope; Kay can’t believe it!
Dylan Daniels: “Patrick Kay can’t believe it, I can’t either! Crowbar managed to get his foot on the rope!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “See, you can’t ever win a match with someone else’s finish! The universe just won’t allow it!”
A stunned Kay looks to the referee for confirmation; then back at Crowbar. Crowbar slowly raises his middle finger in the direction of Kay; infuriating Kay. Kay jumps to his feet and begins to stomp away at Crowbar. Crowbar rolls under the bottom rope to escape the barrage of stomps. Kay reaches between the ropes to pull Crowbar up to his feet. Once up to his feet Crowbar rakes the eyes of Kay! Kay takes a wild swing that Crowbar ducks. Crowbar lands a vicious elbow to the back of the head of Kay!
Mr. Rottentreats: “Crowbeezy is turning the tables!”
Dylan Daniels: “Too bad he had to rake Kay’s eyes to do it!”
Crowbar steps through the ropes; shoving Kay into the nearest corner chest first. Kay receives another elbow to the back of the head.
Crowbar slams Kay’s head into the turnbuckle pad.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Looks like Patrick Kay is caught in a sandstorm!”
Dylan Daniels: “Yeah, but if Crowbar doesn’t get him out of the corner he’s going to be disqualified.
Crowbar obliges the referee and backs away; with his hands in the air. Kay attempts to regain his composure; covering up with his back against the turn buckles. Crowbar charges Kay; connecting with a corner spear! Crowbar wastes no time in lifting Kay up to the top buckle in a seated position. Crowbar exits to the apron and signals for the end.
Dylan Daniels: “Looks like the referee may be giving Crowbar some leeway this time.”
Mr. Rottentreats: “I don’t blame him, I wouldn’t want to be the one getting bitched at by Vaughn because I called for a dq either!”
Crowbar attempts to slingshot himself into the ring. Crowbar is stopped by a stiff elbow from Kay; draping Crowbar across the top rope. Kay pulls Crowbar up to the top rope; both men begin battling it out in a dangerous predicament.
Dylan Daniels: “This could end horribly for both men!”
Mr. Rottentreats: “Those strikes are echoing throughout Center Stage!”
Kay rocks Crowbar and pulls him back to the top. Kay hooks in a single under hook & front face lock combination; pointing a thumb up then turning it upside down. Crowbar attempts to fight out of it; Kay savagely lays into him with a series of knees; nearly losing balance! Kay regains his balance and both men come crashing to the canvas; Kay planting Crowbar with a Lifting Single Underhook DDT off the top rope!!
Dylan Daniels: “KAY KRUSHAA!!”
Kay rolls Crowbar over and covers him.
Mr. Rottentreats: “Pat cheated! He pulled him up by the hair!!”
Dylan Daniels: “What hair?!”
Johnny Raike slides into the ring to celebrate with Patrick Kay; as the referee raises Kay’s hand in victory!
Art Burns: “YOUR WINNER! And advancing to stage two of HoliCraze Hell! PAAAATRIIICK KAAAAY!!”
Hugo Strange is standing in front of the merch table with two young guys one is wearing a Madman Szalinski shirt and the other is wearing a Johnny Raike shirt.
Hugo Strange: “I am the man on the Street Hugo Strange and I am here with two fans to find out where the fans stand and who the fans want to win. I am here with Sam Caldwell and Brad Miller.”
Sam I see you are supporting Madman Szalinski, my personal pick to win; only because I am not in it. Also I am joined with Brad who his supporting last years winner Johnny Raike, fun guy and life of every party. Sam why do you think Madman Szalinski will win.
Sam: “Madman Szalinski is the best wrestler here, he has more title wins, and have you been on his twitter it is funny as hell. I mean Raike is good if you like that kind thing.”
Hugo Strange: “What thing is that?”
Sam: “You know that androgynous character. It is cool but the drug stuff is just too far a little over played.”
Brad sighs and grabs Hugo’s arm and pulls it over to him. Hugo gives Brad a "if you know what is good for you, you will move your Damn hand." Look.
Brad: “Oh shut up! Johnny Raike is the best wrestler here hands down. I am sick of all you Madman Szalinski fans! You all claim you are wrestling purest, but you all are just snobs.”
Hugo Strange: “Guys it's RASSLIN! Tonight.”
Sam and Brad starting yelling and shoving each other. Sam goes to throw his beer at Brad but he moves and it goes right into Hugo's face. Both men stop and look at Hugo.
Hugo Strange: “Thanks, I think this little segment is done. Thanks guys. This is Hugo Strange now back down to the ring for more RASSLIAN action!
Dylan Daniels: “Up next we’ve got the Strong Style Wolf Jason Richards against Pat Gordon Jr.!”
Mr. Rottentreats “And I’ve got goosebumps! Can you believe it, unk?! I’m actually excited for a Jason Richards match! This has got to be a sign that we’re in a parallel universe or something!”
Dylan Daniels: “Well, it is the holiday season, maybe your heart’s growing!”
Mr. Rottentreats “You know what? Sometimes the things you say really hurt!”
Dylan Daniels: “Toughen up, butter cup. You call me Dyldo! Take it away, Art!”
Mr. Rottentreats “See what I mean?! That’s my line! Take it away, Art!”
Art Burns: “The following contest is the second match of Stage One of the HoliCraze Hell TOURnament!”
The lights in the arena go out as the “The Lone Wolf” by Rose Scythe + Sixthday begins to play. Jason Richards appears with his head down from behind the curtain. He slowly raises his head as his face is hidden behind a half mask.
Art Burns: “Making his way to the ring first; hailing from Seattle, Washington!
He makes his way down to the ring holding out his hands; slapping fans hands as he walks down the aisle way.
Art Burns: “The Strong Style Wolf! Jaaaasssooon Richards!”
He jumps up on to the apron stepping through the ropes. He walks over and begins stretching in the corner as he takes the mask off waiting for his opponent.
Art Burns: “And his opponent!”
The Celtic-rock sound of Dropkick Murphys' "Heroes from Our Past" brings the fans to their feet.
Art Burns: “From Boston, Massachusetts! The Boston Bruiser!”
Chants of "Let's Go Gordon!" begin to break out, and Pat Gordon, Jr. steps out from behind the curtain!
Art Burns: “PAAAT! GOOORDON! JUUUUNIOOOR!”
He makes his way down the aisle, giving out Arby's coupons to everyone within reach! He does one lap around the ring, getting rid of the last of his coupons, before he scales the ring steps and climbs into the ring to wait for the bell.
Dylan Daniels: “The fans here in Atlanta sure love them some Pat Gordon Jr.!”
Mr. Rottentreats “Can ya blame them? He’s handing out Arby’s coupons, that shit’s expensive!”
Dylan Daniels: “There’s the bell!”
Mr. Rottentreats “Aw, come on, Pat! No handshakes!”
Pat Gordon Jr. stands in the center of the ring with his hand extended; waiting for Jason Richards to accept his show of sportsmanship. Richards approaches him and smirks; only to slap the taste out of Gordon’s mouth! Gordon checks his own chin. Jason holds his arms out cockily and asks Gordon “What are you going to do?!” Gordon retaliates with a series of stiff elbow smashes; driving Richards back into the ropes.
Dylan Daniels: “I wouldn’t want to be Jason Richards right now!”
Mr. Rottentreats “He needs to start ducking or covering. If he doesn’t Pat’s liable to knock a tooth out!”
Richards blocks an elbow smash; then hauls off with a series of stiff forearms to the face of Gordon! Richards forces Gordon to the center of the ring with each shot; the crowd in a frenzy! Gordon head butts Richards; dropping him to a knee!
Dylan Daniels: “An Irish Kiss from Pat Gordon Jr.!”
Mr. Rottentreats “I can tell you from experience, that’s one head butt you do not want to feel!”
Gordon rebounds off the ropes; Richards drops down. Gordon hits the opposite ropes; Richards pops up and nails a Rolling Elbow that spins Gordon around! Richards catches Gordon before he falls; applying a half nelson. Richards lifts Gordon up and flips him over; driving him into the mat neck first with a half-nelson driver! The ref drops down to the mat for the count.
Dylan Daniels: “Misery Driver!”
Mr. Rottentreats “EHHHHH! WRONG! That’s The Wolf’s Cry!”
Art Burns: “Your winner and advancing to Stage Two of HoliCraze Hell TOURnament! THE STRONG STYLE WOLF, JAAAASOOON RIIIIICHARDS!!"
Dylan Daniels: “Either way, I know a half-nelson driver when I see one! And that one helped Jason Richards gain a rather decisive victory!”
Mr. Rottentreats “Jason wasn’t kidding when he says he’s more intense. He nearly took Pat’s head off with that Rolling Elbow! And it looks like we’ll be seeing Patrick Kay versus Jason Richards at Helluva FnXmas!”
The sweat is just pouring off of Jason’s face as he walks over and grabs the microphone from the ring announcer the crowd still in somewhat of a shock. He still has an intense look on his face as he walks over and sits on the bottom turnbuckle. He waits a few moments as he composes himself he begins to speak in to the microphone.
Jason Richards: “I see the look on all of your faces as you sit there looking into this ring none of you gave me a chance to beat Pat Gordon and what just happened? I dominated him! I did exactly what I told each and every one of you I would do. That was just the first. And it seems as though, I’ve got another stepping stone by the name of Patrick as my next challenge. Were you watching? I am not the same young punk kid you brought in to WARPED years ago. I said it before this is a new me! I am out to prove I am one of the best in the world and leave nothing but bodies and careers in my wake if I have to. The proof is right here ladies and gentlemen I am the reason your parents told you to never cry wolf.
He walks over handing the microphone back to the ring announcer as he steps through the ropes and makes his way to the back.
Mr. Rottentreats “Oh god, I’m actually starting to like him now!”
WARPEDVision lights up as Jason Richards exits the ring. Once again on the screen above the entrance way; Vaughn Ronie Jr. stops mid pace in front of the Ronie’s Rasslin Services vinyl banner. He places his thumbs in the armholes of his pinstripe vest; before clearing his throat.
Vaughn Ronie Jr.: “Atlanta!! Are you having a good time tonight?!”
The crowd inside Center Stage erupts.
Vaughn Ronie Jr.: “How about those first two matches?! Congratulations to Patrick Kay and Jason Richards on advancing to Helluva FnXmas! Now, the moment all of the WARPED Wrestling fans in attendance have been waiting for! Especially you painted freaks in the top row!”
The camera pans the top back row; several fans are dressed up as various versions of Mr. Rottentreats.
Vaughn Ronie Jr.: “Joseph Matthew has agreed to allow Ronie’s Rasslin’ Services to host two title matches during this year’s HoliCraze Hell TOURnament. The first of which will take place live at Tremont Music Hall on Saturday, December twelfth at Helluva FnXmas! And it will be none other than my older brother Mr. Rottentreats defending his Evolution title against..
Static interrupts Vaughn Ronie Jr.’s announcement. Back inside Center Stage the camera is on Mr. Rottentreats; displaying his Evolution Championship belt. The lights go out!
Dylan Daniels: “What the..?”
Mr. Rottentreats “Oh, shiiiit!”
A thud is heard over one of the headsets as it drops. The lights come on and GRENDEL is tossing Mr. Rottentreats into the guard rail!
Dylan Daniels: “Get security out here, now!”
GRENDEL jerks the railing closer to the ring. The behemoth ascends the ring steps; dragging Mr. Rottentreats by the hair! Once he reaches the apron he viciously drapes Mr. Rottentreats left arm across the top turnbuckle; then begins to berate him.
Dylan Daniels: “Damn it! Get security out here now!!”
GRENDEL lifts Mr. Rottentreats up with a double chicken wing and leaps off the apron; draping Mr. Rottentreats stomach first across the guardrail! GRENDEL immediately snatches the Evolution championship belt from the announce desk. The giant parts the security team like the red sea as he exits; leaving Mr. Rottentreats writhing at ringside.
Dylan Daniels: “Cut to the back, or something.”
GRENDEL bursts through the curtain; Evolution belt in tow. Vaughn Ronie Jr. leaps out of his seat at Gorilla and charges the giant.
Vaughn Ronie Jr. “What the hell was that?! That isn’t what we agreed on!”
A hearty laugh escapes the lips of GRENDEL; before he pie faces Vaughn and disappears into the backstage area.
Johnny Raike is seen in the backstage area of the Center Stage in Atlanta, Georgia, stretching out before his match tournament match. At the moment he is in camel pose, bending back as far as he can. The Hedonistic Hellcat is wearing a tank top that shimmers at the light catches it, revealing a white-on-white floral pattern. When he sees the camera, Johnny smiles and rises first to a squat, then slowly, sensually uncurls into standing.
Johnny Raike: “Hey, babies! The time has come at last for you all to behold your Sissyboy Savior as he once again ascends to the top of the HoliCraze Hell Tournament! Going back to back and, if you lucky bastards plays your cards right, you can help me celebrate front to front.”
A big, exaggerated wink and a gun from the Most Liberated Man in Professional Wrestling.
Johnny Raike: “I’m ready for this night. Been spanking my cardio routine and crushing ass on my weight plan. I’m a lean, mean, fucking machine and tonight I am fucking up the dreams of Annie Lennox! …No, wait, Zellor. I like Annie Lennox. The Eurythmics were great. And indeed sweet dreams are made of these, and with a tournament in front of me to win, I surely won’t disagree. No, I’ll go light up that stage and be the star we all know I can be, the star you all know I am, even here in America’s backwoods, Atlanta.”
Johnny gives a look of disappointed disdain to the camera.
Johnny Raike: “You know, I was hoping that when the venue got changed to a place called Center Stage, that it might actually seat more than a thousand people. But then I realized that with Delta sucking, the only money to be found around here is from Coke- the soda, unfortunately- and that there probably aren’t a thousand people in Atlanta that can both afford the ticket and have a working pickup truck. So, in the end, probably the right place for us if we have to be here in the south. At least a small segment of this city will get a change to look upon a successful athlete, which will make a nice change of pace for them. Enjoy it while it lasts, hicks.”
A look of realization crosses the Thigh High Thriller’s face.
Johnny Raike: “That reminds me, the winner of my little fingers versus teeth game was one Mr. Jackson Price, who guessed 21,150 teeth versus 9,355 fingers. This seems like the right number to me, though very few of you in the audience filled out your self report survey. Or, if you did, used it to write childish, hate filled commentary. And the fuck if I’m going near enough all your Mountain Dew rotted teeth to get an accurate count. I have standards. And not just for how big of a mustache I demand on my NASCAR drivers. So, Jackson, contact me for your free 8x10. But don’t assume this makes us friends, and if you’re as shitty as the rest of Atlanta be prepared to get blocked from my Facebook.”
A bright, sunny smile from Johnny to punctuate his sentence before moving on.
Johnny Raike: “But you know, at the end of the day, who’s in the crowd isn’t important. It’s who’s in that ring. And honies, I am in that ring. So you know that this match is going to be important. Possibly the most important match of the night, of the tournament, a late entry for match of the year. Johnny Raike, the Once and Future Queen, the reigning champ of holiday violence, the sicko pervert leader of freaks, versus the unbelievable Annie Zellor. And I say that to mean I don’t believe her.”
Johnny Raike: “See, no one is the person you pretend to be Annie. No one sticks around this business for six months and remains as bubblyingly naive as you, let alone being raised in it. All chipper and happy, and all while remain the good little girl. Good night, sweetheart; you were born into this business, but you act like you’ve been fed nothing but Disney your whole life. Just power of friendship, be nice to the teacher, everyone should just be cool to each other kinda bullshit. No one is who you pretend to be, not past the age of 12.”
Johnny exchanges his judgmental eyes for a wry smile.
Johnny Raike: “Which is why I don’t believe you. Which is why I know you to be a broken wreck of a girl hiding behind rose colored glasses, too afraid of the real world to accept it for all its flaws. Whereas I, I am the true face of society. Beautiful, and chipped, and full of barely contained desires. Rage, lust, escape, I indulge them all, inspire them all, have become them all. You hide behind your armor, terrified that should the rising tide of sin and change splash onto you, you won’t know what to do. So you clutch at your teddy bear, and you shut your eyes, and you hum real loud and hope the monsters will go away. You’re too afraid to fight them. You know that’s how you become one. You can’t run from them. Anything you’d be qualified to do in this life, the monsters got there first. Fighting, singing, sports. They all belong to us. I’d say go teach a Sunday school course, but we all know what the priests like to do, so I guess the monsters have ruined that one for you too.”
A sarcastic snap of the fingers and ‘darn’ from the American Wet Dream.
Johnny Raike: “Maybe you’ve addressed all this already. Maybe you can take off the glasses. Make your grr face. Maybe you’ve said everything you need to say to me already, I don’t know. I usually ignore what my challengers have to say about me, at least in the run up to a great ass kicking. Makes it easier to apply cognitive dissonance, which in return allows me to just really build up an idea in my mind of who and what it is I’m battering down. In this case, it’s a silly little girl who desperately needs a wakeup call about just what career she’s actually chosen for herself. Who needs to understand that to walk into my world is to fight on my terms. Pure match, cage match, light tubes or rope breaks and everything in between, you are in my realm now. You aren’t going to be out there surrounded by your oh so cleverly named Annie-maniacs. You won’t have your baffling legion of peers who think you’re just the most precious little thing around. You’ll have me. You’ll have a crowd of death match fans. And you’ll have your regrets.”
Another bright, sunny smile from the Beautiful Nightmare, this time with an added in middle finger.
Johnny Raike: “But—let’s not end on such a harsh, downer note. See, last year going into night one I did a little dance for you all. It was beautiful, erotic, and a forerunner of my success. So, I thought I’d do it again. And this time, I even had our ring crew set up a pole for me.”
Johnny walks a few feet to his left to get to said pole. There is also a gear bag waiting, from which Johnny removes a white garter and bridal veil. He puts them on with a practiced efficiency, gets into a starting pose, and hits play on a remote. Nothing happens for a moment, causing Johnny to sigh, hit the button again, and quickly return to his pose as Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” begins to play.
Johnny starts out using the pole to show off his flexibility, leg strength, and well maintained body. Eventually he ends up rolling and writhing around on the floor, in clear homage to Madonna, shedding clothes the entire time until all that remains is the garter, a very askew veil, and a thong reading “The Immaculate Erection.”
Johnny Raike: “You’re welcome Atlanta. It’s more than you deserve.”
Back at ringside Dylan Daniels is sitting at the commentary table with a somber look upon his aged face; he adjusts his canary yellow sports coat before speaking into the camera.
Dylan Daniels: “Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Rottentreats has been transported to the nearest hospital after that vicious attack by GRENDEL. However, we here at Ronie’s Rasslin’ Services live by the motto, the show must go on. And go on it shall! Up next we’ve got Phreak protégé, Raven Solurex. And he’ll be facing off against the man truly responsible for the birth of Ronie’s Rasslin’ Services, Madman Szalinski. You have to be a madman to throw that much money at Mr. Rottentreats. Take it away, Art!”
The lights are lowered as Black Dawn begins to play.
Art Burns: “The following contest is the third match in Stage One of the HoliCraze Hell TOURnament!”
A soft green light slowly shines over the fans as purple smoke fills the stage, ramp and ring area, white light slowly blinks throughout the arena as Raven is raised up through the smoke.
Art Burns: “Introducing first, from Amarillo, Texas! Standing six feet tall and weighing in this morning at two-hundred thirty pounds!”
The fans stand to their feet, some cheering and others booing him, the camera zooms in on Raven as he can be seen wearing a black leather jacket, as he makes his way to the ring he ignores most of the fans, focusing his energy on the ring.
Art Burns: “The Maniac! Raven Solurex!”
Dylan Daniels: “Raven Solurex has opted to take the silent but deadly approach leading up to this match.”
He walks to the ring post and climbs the step to the apron, he stops and looks to the left than the right, before entering the ring, where he steps to the center of it and lowers to his knee’s with both arms stretched to either side as the lights come on he lifts to his feet to await his opponent.
Art Burns: “And his opponent being accompanied to the ring by Peach Puppy!”
As the hi-hats count off four to start off "Dr. Wily Part One", Madman Szalinski jumps out from behind the curtain. Peach barks at his feet, running around sniffing.
Art Burns: “From the Fire Fields!! Standing five foot eleven inches! He weighed in this morning at one-hundred eighty seven pounds!”
Dylan Daniels: “Madman Szalinski on the other hand.. Let’s just say he’s got a way with words. So, let’s see if that silent approach works for Raven Solurex here at PURE Hell!”
Madman takes a moment to soak the crowd in with a bewildering gaze, followed up with a laugh. The duo jogs briskly down to the ring, Madman slapping hands the whole way down.
Szalinski rolls into the ring, pulling himself up with the ropes. Peach runs over to the ring steps, jumping up each one and then onto the apron. Madman runs to the closest turnbuckle, jumping up to the middle rope.
Art Burns: “The Most Hated Man In America! MAAAAADMAAAAN SZAAAALIIIINSKIIII!!”
Holding his hands out, he begins to play an invisible "controller", mashing buttons briefly before dropping the "controller" and raising his fists into the air. Peach stands around the ring, watching Madman.
Jumping down from the corner, Szalinski briefly kneels in the corner, head bowed to the turnbuckles, and remains there for a few seconds before hopping to his feet and turning to face his opponent. Peach stays at his feet the whole time, waiting for Madman to pick her up and set her on the top ring step outside the ring.
Dylan Daniels: “According to my twitter feed Vaughn Ronie Jr. is upset that Peach was brought to the ring. You can follow him on twitter, @VRowKnee. There’s the bell!”
Raven and Szalinski circle the ring. Szalinski feints shooting the single leg; Peach Puppy barks in excitement. Raven yells at Peach in an attempt to shut the dog up. Szalinski doesn’t take too kindly to this and nearly takes Raven’s head off with a standing drop kick!
Dylan Daniels: “Madman Szalinski really got some air on that drop kick!”
Raven backs into the corner to check his jaw; mockingly applauding Szalinski’s accuracy. Raven pulls himself to his feet and darts toward Szalinski; Szalinski takes him down with a headlock take over. Raven pulls Szalinski into a head scissors via the Madman’s mask. The referee admonishes Raven and informs the timekeeper that he’s deducted a rope break from Raven!
Dylan Daniels: “If you weren’t around for last year’s HoliCraze Hell you’ve just been reminded that the referees hired by Ronie’s Rasslin’ Services don’t take any shit! Raven Solurex is down to two rope breaks after tugging on the mask of Madman Szalinski!”
Szalinski uses Raven’s arguing with the referee as an opening to escape the head scissors; turning it into a jackknife pin attempt.
Raven rolls Szalinski back to his shoulders into a pinning predicament of his own.
Dylan Daniels: “The fish is out of the water!”
Szalinski rolls backwards and up to his feet; he charges at Raven. Raven ducks a knee to the face; Szalinski rebounds off the ropes. Raven attempts to trip Szalinski up. Szalinski hits the opposite ropes; Raven leap frogs! Szalinski shakes his head; stopping dead in his tracks. Szalinski scoops Raven up as he lands; dropping him head first with a Scoop Slam Kneeling Piledriver!
Dylan Daniels: “Scoopstone creamery is open for business ladies and gentlemen!”
Szalinski beckons Peach; who enters the ring excitedly. Szalinski scoops Peach up and rises to his feet. The crowd is on fire with chants for the Peach Puppy! Szalinski holds her over Raven; then drops her!
Dylan Daniels: “Peach Puppy Splash! That’s got to be it!”
The referee deducts a rope break from Madman Szalinski for illegal use of dog. Szalinski doesn’t seem to care as he drops down to mockingly make the count. Raven kicks out sending Peach rolling across the ring.
Dylan Daniels: “Now I’ve seen it all! Peach almost got the win over Raven Solurex!”
Szalinski’s jovial demeanor switches up; as he pulls Raven up to his feet by the ears. Raven breaks the hold and clobbers Szalinski right in the jaw with a closed fist! The referee signals for the bell!
Dylan Daniels: “I can’t believe it! We just witnessed our first victory in the HoliCraze Hell TOURnament by disqualification!”
An angry Raven clocks the referee and security rushes the ring immediately!
Art Burns: “Here is your winner via disqualification! Maaaadmaaaan Szzzaaliiinski!!”
Dylan Daniels: “Madman Szalinski advances to Helluva FnXmas. And we’re about to find out who his opponent will be shortly! What a night!”
Dylan Daniels: “Up next we’ve got the Fuck Face vs the GRRFace!”
As the singing starts for Pure Morning Johnny emerges from behind the curtain. He turns his back to the audience, writhing and dancing to Pure Morning, giving a perfect view of his new vinyl trench coat: a mildly reflective silver number adorned with the phrase "See Yourself in Greatness."
Dylan Daniels: “I know I’m supposed to remain unbiased here. But, I sincerely hope that Annie Zellor eliminates this guy. He disgusts me!”
Raike seductively pivots; before sauntering down the entrance way, lost in the music, and often running his hands sensually over his own chest.
Stopping just behind Dylan Daniels; Johnny Raike picks an attractive young couple in the front row. Both obviously knowing the routine show Raike their IDs. Raike grins ear to ear confirming they’re both of legal age; before removing a card from the waist band of his trunks. Raike places it against his lips before grasping a handful of hair of both the male and female of the couple and going in for the kill. Raike allows the card to drop before engaging in a triple kiss with the couple.
Dylan Daniels: “A triple kiss?! What is this? Two-thousand three?!”
Raike hears Dylan Daniels’ reaction and approaches him from behind; caressing his chest.
Johnny Raike: “No, but I wish it was. You were a lot sexier when you were pulling off that Heroin Chic look.”
Dylan immediately swats Raike away. Raike can be overheard on Dylan’s headset.
Johnny Raike: “Don’t act shy, Dyldo. I’ve heard all about your younger days, naughty boy!”
Dylan Daniels: “Get the fuck away from me!”
Raike laughs it off as he slides under the bottom rope and turns toward Dylan; grabbing the middle rope and writhing about in a sexual manner.
An assortment of purple and blue strobe lights illuminate the entrance aisle, flashing in time with the Jager Yoga by CSS, as Annie Zellor bursts through the curtain. The crowd inside Center Stage erupts with cheers.
Dylan Daniels: “HOTlanta is on their feet for Annie Zellor! Let’s just hope none of them are prone to seizures!”
She poses momentarily, 'flexing' her biceps for the fans, before running down the aisle, her arms outstretched to slap hands with the willing fans on the way down. The youngster slides in under the bottom rope and runs to the furthest away turnbuckle, climbing to the middle rope, whereupon she raises a fist in the air before jumping down off the turnbuckle.
Dylan Daniels: “Take it away, Art!”
The camera pans Center Stage; before zooming in on the legendary Art Burns.
Art Burns: “The following contest is your PURE Hell MAIN EVENT!”
The crowd buzzes with anticipation.
Art Burns: “Introducing first! From Salt Lake City, Utah, by way of New York City! Representing Ronie’s Rasslin’ Services! He is the inaugural HoliCraze Hell Tournament Champion! Standing Six-Foot One inch, he weighed in this morning at..”
Raike steps forward; covering the microphone and angrily yelling in Art Burns ear.
Dylan Daniels: “Someone’s sensitive about their weight!
Art Burns: “He is the Once & Future Queen! JOHNYYY RAAAAAIKE!!”
The crowd nearly shakes the building with jeers. A few fans in the front row shout some not-so clever homophobic slurs in Johnny’s direction; Johnny simply blows kisses in their direction. Johnny steps to the center of the ring spouting disparaging remarks toward Annie Zellor.
Art Burns: “And his opponent, making her debut inside of a WARPED Wrestling Ring! Standing at five-feet four inches!”
Art Burns glances at Annie as if asking for permission to announce her weight. Annie mouths “go ahead, I’m not ashamed.”
Art Burns: “She weighed in this morning at One-hundred eleven pounds! She hails from Staten Island, New York! This is!”
Annie confidently steps to the center of the ring; Raike looks down his nose at Annie.
Art Burns: “HARD KNOX-AAANNNIIEEE ZEEELLLOOOOOR!!”
The bell sounds. Raike wastes no time shoving Annie; pointing at a HoliCraze Hell banner and letting her know this is his tournament to win. Annie returns the favor; refusing to back down and yelling “NOT THIS YEAR!” Raike swings wildly with an open palm; Annie ducks and counters with a slap of her own. Raike steps back; favoring his cheek. The crowd roars in appreciation of Annie!
Dylan Daniels: “Young Annie Zellor is refusing to back down from last year’s HoliCraze Hell Champion!”
Both combatants charge each other; tying up with a collar and elbow lock up in the center of the ring. Raike overpowers the smaller Annie; applying a side headlock. Annie attempts to shove Raike away; Raike holds on. Annie makes the attempt to shove Raike away once more. Raike simply smirks; refusing to break the hold. Annie catches Raike with an elbow to the gut; loosening his grip. Annie shoves Raike away; only to be pulled back into the side headlock by the hair! The referee admonishes Raike; informing Raike that he’s down a rope break!
Dylan Daniels: “Good call by the referee! We saw it earlier tonight when Raven Solurex used Madman Szalinski’s mask to his advantage.”
Raike lividly cranks on the side headlock in response. Annie attempts to alleviate some pressure by turning into the hold; Raike simply smirks. Raike pushes Annie’s head down to his crotch and performs a thrusting motion. Annie pushes herself away from Raike in disgust!
Dylan Daniels: “That’s just sickening and uncalled for! We’ve got kids in the audience! Although, I question the parenting of someone who would willingly bring their child to any event with Johnny Raike on the bill.”
Raike blows a kiss in Annie’s direction. Annie charges; Raike sidesteps allowing Annie to gain some speed. Annie leaps up to the middle rope, springboards, turns in mid-air and catches Raike with a crossbody as he turns to her!
Raike aggressively kicks out of the pin attempt; only to roll under the bottom rope. Annie wisely allows the referee to begin the count.
Dylan Daniels: “Annie Zellor has Johnny Raike ducking out early on!”
Raike feints sliding back under the rope; Annie cautiously awaits him inside the ring.
Raike waves off the match as he paces behind Dylan Daniels and the announce table.
Raike turns his attention to the couple at ringside and begins chatting.
Dylan Daniels: “Johnny Raike has some nerve!”
Raike hears Dylan and approaches him.
Annie feints a springboard; causing Raike to side step. Annie lands on the apron; breaking the referee’s twenty count.
Dylan Daniels: “Thank god! I thought I was about to be on the losing end of a high-risk maneuver-OH SHIT!”
Annie takes a running start and leaps of the apron; sending Raike into the guardrail with a flying headscissors!
Annie hops to her feet while flipping her hair out of her face; the crowd erupts!
Dylan Daniels: “I should’ve known Patrick Kay wouldn’t stay in the back for this one!”
Favoring his neck, Patrick Kay comes to the aid of Raike at ringside as Annie slides back into the ring.
Kay fans Raike with a HoliCraze Hell T-shirt; wincing slightly every time he raises the shirt.
Kay assists Raike with rolling back into the ring; breaking the count. A portion of the crowd closest to Kay erupt in a “Patrick Gay” chant. Kay turns to them mouthing “How original!”; before turning his attention back to the action in the ring. Raike pulls himself up in the corner as Annie rushes him. Raike manages to send Annie up; she performs a handstand while Raike waits for the thud. Kay frantically attempts to inform Raike that Annie is doing a headstand on the turnbuckle. Raike deciphers the info a bit too late; allowing Annie to drop down onto his thighs to perform a monkey flip!!
Dylan Daniels: “Someone inform air traffic control that Air Raike is about to make a crash landing!”
Annie scrambles to make the pin attempt immediately after Raike crashes to the canvas.
Dylan Daniels: “That was a close one!”
Annie shows great patience with the referees cadence; cinching in a rear chin lock as Raike sits up. Raike feeding off of Kay’s energy at ringside attempts to fight to a knee. Annie brings it to a halt by launching herself into the air; then coming back down with a knee to the spine of Raike. Raike yelps in agony while writhing. Kay begins to chant “Let’s Go Raike” while smacking the apron. The crowd begins dueling with Kay by starting a “Let’s Go Annie!” chant. The chant for Annie quickly morphs into a “Raike’s Got Herpes!” chant; infuriating Kay at ringside! Raike manages to rise to a knee; turning the rear chin lock into a side headlock. Raike turns into the body of Annie and begins shaking his head side to side. A not-so shocked Annie allows some space between herself and the motor boating Raike; only to pull his face down onto her knee!
Dylan Daniels: “POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!”
Still on his knees a stunned Raike begs off into the corner; Kay hops up on the apron. Raike pulls himself to his feet; the referee gets in the face of Kay. Annie shoots into the corner with a discus clothesline and quickly grabs the head of Raike.
Dylan Daniels: “She’s got skillz!”
Raike thwarts the bulldog attempt by holding onto the top rope and jerking Annie to the mat with his free hand! Kay hops off the apron; allowing the referee to return his attention to the match. Raike covers Annie.
Dylan Daniels: “Someone needs to get Kay away from ringside! This is ridiculous!”
The referee points out the rope break to an angry Raike. Raike jumps in the referees face while Annie attempts to shake off the rough landing.
Dylan Daniels: “Annie Zellor has two rope breaks left. But, arguing with a Ronie’s Rasslin’ Services referee probably isn’t the wisest decision, Johnny.”
Raike begins to poke the referee in the chest; backing the referee into the opposite ropes. Annie rolls under the bottom rope and pulls herself up to her feet on the apron. The referee grabs the top rope while telling Raike he’s deducting a rope break for laying hands on him!
Dylan Daniels: “Johnny Raike is down to one rope break! Vaughn Ronie Jr. can’t be too happy about that!”
The referee jumps back in Raike’s face, Raike shoves the referee; the referee shoves Raike back, right into a spring board bulldog from Annie! Annie shoots the half to turn Raike over for the pin!
Dylan Daniels: “See what I mean, Johnny?!”
The crowd is in a frenzy and Annie sits in disbelief that Raike managed to kick out. A furious Kay jumps up to the apron and attempts to step through the ropes! The referee quickly kicks the middle rope into the groin of Kay! Kay drops to the apron; then to ringside!
Dylan Daniels: “This referee means business, folks!”
Annie stalks Raike as he crawls to the ropes; excitedly awaiting for him to pull himself up. Just as Raike pulls himself up Annie takes a running start and leaps into the air with a 540 kick.
Dylan Daniels: “Sparkle Princess Special!!”
Raike wisely drops down while pulling the top rope; Annie topples over the top rope and hits the ringside mats with a thud!
Dylan Daniels: “I can’t stand the guy, but that was a smart move on Johnny Raike’s behalf.”
Raike drops to the canvas with his back against the middle rope; allowing the count.
The crowd is in an uproar with stomps and cheers trying to revive Annie.
Dylan Daniels: “Johnny Raike really slammed the brakes on Annie Zellor’s momentum, Ladies and gentlemen. And he looks to be taking advantage of every second of the twenty count.”
Raike grabs the back of his head; wincing.
Annie begins to stir at ringside; causing the ringside fan’s cheers to grow louder.
Raike pulls himself up slowly and hobbles to the opposite side of the ring with assistance from the top rope.
He begins to smirk as the count reaches nine.
Dylan Daniels: “Johnny Raike may be a bit overconfident here. It is a twenty count after all.”
The crowd erupts as Annie’s hand shoots up above the apron and she tugs at the WARPED ring skirt!
A look of shock covers Raike’s face!
Dylan Daniels: “Annie Zellor is stirring and Johnny Raike can’t believe it!!”
Annie manages to grab the bottom rope and pull herself to the apron.
Raike darts toward Annie and attempts a baseball slide dropkick; Annie ducks.
Dylan Daniels: “Raike broke the count with that baseball slide.”
Raike snatches Annie up and signals for the crowd to make room.
Dylan Daniels: “Looks like Johnny Raike is going to create an obstacle course for Annie Zellor to conquer in order to reenter the ring.”
Raike grasps Annie’s neck and waist band and feints tossing her over the guardrail only to perform a one-eighty with and toss her back under the bottom rope.
Annie rolls to the opposite side of the ring; as Raike slides under the bottom rope. Annie charges Raike; Raike attempts a back body drop. Annie manages to avoid being tossed over the top rope again. Annie drops back down, twisting her body in mid-air, dropping into a wheelbarrow position. Annie pushes herself up and attempts a bulldog; Raike pushes her away. Annie lands on her feet and dares Raike to come at her! Raike obliges; Annie drops down! Raike hits the opposite ropes; Annie rebounds off of the perpendicular ropes as the fans yell “ROTTEN”. Raike and Annie criss-cross the ring; the crowd yelling “TO THE” as Annie hits the ropes once more. Annie and Raike criss-cross once more; the fans yelling “CORE!”. The taller Raike manages to be the quicker draw with the big boot; nearly knocking Annie’s head into the crowd!
Johnny Raike: “I’M THE FOOT, BITCH!!!”
The back row of Mr. Rottentreats fans erupt in a “ROT-TEN RAIKE” chant; the rest of the crowd begins to chant “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Raike drops down with a lateral press on Annie.
Dylan Daniels: “Annie Zellor’s attempt at an homage to my hospitalized commentary partner backfired that time! Something tells me those freaks in the back row don’t mind, though.”
A frustrated Raike nearly pulls his hair out. Kay favoring his groin; pulls himself upon the apron to argue with the referee about his cadence. The referee is tired of Kay’s interference and ejects him!
Dylan Daniels: “Get outta here!!”
The crowd erupts with a “PEACE THE FUCK OUT!” chant. Raike begins arguing with the referee again; and shoves him! The referee shoves him back and notifies him about losing his last rope break!
Dylan Daniels: “Someone get me that referee’s autograph!”
Raike charges the referee. The referee trips Raike; Raike lands chest first across the middle rope. The crowd erupts as Annie darts toward Raike!
Dylan Daniels: “ROUGH AND TUMBL-OOH!”
Raike manages to catch Annie mid-Tiger feint kick. Raike swings Annie around looking for a Side Effect; Annie tilt-a-whirls around Raike attempting a satellite DDT.
Dylan Daniels: “All that glitters!!”
Raike blocks it by grabbing the top rope; then reverses Annie’s front chancery with one of his own. Raike hooks Annie’s leg then lifts her up and away from the ropes; driving her head and neck first into the canvas with a Small Package Driver!
Dylan Daniels: “FULL FRONTAL!! NOOOO!!”
Dylan Daniels: “COME ON, ANNIE, KICKOUT!!!”
Art Burns: “Your winner and advancing to Helluva FnXmas!! JOHNNY RAAAAAIIKE!!!”
Dylan Daniels: “Raike may have won, but Annie Zellor proved that she definitely belonged in the HoliCraze Hell Tournament!”